There are four different words for love in ancient Greek. You're probably most familiar with Eros, from which we get erotic and erotica. While Eros definitely has that connotation of physical passion and intimate connection, the term also allows for the possibility that physical attraction can ripen into an appreciation of the inner beauty of the object of one's eros. The quintessential example of such a connection in classical myth is the union of Eros, the masculine incarnation of Love, with Psyche, the feminine incarnation of the Spirit, or, if you prefer, of the Soul. This is the romantic kind of love that has come to be associated with February 14th. On this day, those who are coupled submit tangible proofs of having been smitten by Eros in the form of cards, chocolates, flowers, gemstones, and interestingly configured lingerie, some of it with pieces missing in strategic locations, and all of it raised in its retail price by at least 75%.
But why limit yourself to one kind of Love, is what I'd like to know? If February 14th is all about Love, then let it be all about all kinds of Love. Let's not leave anyone out. If it ain't about everybody, then it ain't about Love. In other words - I propose nothing short of a radical re-imagining of Valentine's Day.
For example, there is Agápe, meaning love in its more purely spiritual sense; the sort of unconditional love that expects nothing in return. It is probably very wrong of me, but by this definition, my dog comes instantly to mind. Although now that I think of it, she's pretty demanding and if I were to suddenly cease to come across with the liver treats and the 10:00 p.m. walks even in the pouring rain, I would certainly hear about it from her. Agápe is the way you feel about your tiny, adorable infant, although the reverse probably does not hold true, since I can't think of a better example of "Incessant Expectations" than a baby, unless it's that same baby once it becomes a teenager.
Then there's Philia. You know. Like Philadelphia? Ohhhhh...so that's why they call it the "City of Brotherly Love!" "Philia is 'mental' love. It means affectionate regard or friendship in both ancient and modern Greek. This type of love has give and take. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers." (God, what would we do without Wikipedia?) Philia actually sounds like a pretty good deal for all concerned, and I think we would be well advised to start handing out Philia cards, perhaps with a few M&M's enclosed, to let our family and friends know we appreciate them on February 14th...and, indeed, on February 13th and 15th.
Finally - and don't bother memorizing this one, because you'll hardly ever need it - there is Storge. I tried to find English words that derive from Storge, but all that Google came up with was offers from the Mini-Storage people, all eager to charm me into giving them a hundred dollars a month so that I would no longer have to look at the things I ought to have put into the garbage long ago. Storge would be the familial affection between parent and child. Let's leave Greece for a moment and go to France to contemplate the proverb, "In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek" - and you know who's who when it comes to Storge. And if you don't, I will help you out by openly admitting to the fact that I got up at 5:00 a.m. on Black Friday to stand in line for the XBox Kinect that my son claimed he couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't have to live without - unless I wanted to be remembered forever as the cold-hearted and uncaring parent who ruined his life and landed him on the therapist's couch - in the very same year that my own dear mother said, "Oh, don't get me anything for Christmas," and I took her at her word, bought her a box of chocolates, and felt handsome for doing it. What became of the XBox Kinect, you ask? It's in storge - uh, storage. That is just how this parent-child thing goes, folks. I have no resentments about it. Well, not many. What's that you say? Did my kid send me a Valentine's card today? None of your darn business, and by the way, my philia for you just took a nosedive. I think we should talk about something else now.
Happy Valentines Day, O Best Beloveds!
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